{"product_id":"feral-survivor-funny-witch-matte-poster-trash-panda-energy-goth-wall-art","title":"\"Feral Survivor\" Funny Witch Matte Poster - Trash Panda Energy \u0026 Goth Wall Art","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGraceful resilience is a myth. Embrace the trash panda within.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSociety loves a good \"rising from the ashes\" narrative, but let's be honest: genuine survival rarely looks that majestic. Sometimes overcoming adversity doesn't involve glowing wings and spiritual enlightenment. Sometimes, it involves surviving purely on spite, caffeine, and whatever shiny trinkets you managed to scavenge along the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster is the ultimate anthem for the gloriously unhinged. It proudly declares, \"I didn't rise from the ashes like a phoenix.\". Instead, it offers a much more realistic (and relatable) alternative: \"I crawled out like a raccoon with a shiny object and a bad attitude.\". Complete with a hissing witch and her literal trash panda companion, this is the perfect piece of art for anyone who survived the week and has zero interest in being graceful about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You’ll Actually Want This:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eArchival Quality Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e — Printed on museum-grade archival paper that resists yellowing, ensuring your official declaration of feral survival outlasts whatever disaster you just crawled out of.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid Giclée Printing\u003c\/strong\u003e — Delivers bright, fade-resistant colors that perfectly capture every smudge of dirt, your majestic dark circles, and the gleam of your stolen treasures.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eElegant Matte Finish\u003c\/strong\u003e — Reduces glare and preserves color depth, making it incredibly easy for people to read your bad attitude from across the room.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavy-Duty Feel\u003c\/strong\u003e — Printed on premium 175 g\/m² or 189 g\/m² paper (depending on print origin) to properly support the emotional weight of your chaotic resilience.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIndoor Hoarding\u003c\/strong\u003e — Perfect for decorating your cave, bedroom, or office (designed for indoor use only, with a slight +\/- 1\/16\" production tolerance because feral creatures refuse to conform to strict measurements).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWitches who are running on 10% battery and 90% feral determination\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who considers the raccoon to be their ultimate spirit animal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSurvivors of burnout who are deeply tired of toxic positivity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🛒 \u003cstrong\u003eAdd to your cart and hiss at your responsibilities.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou made it out. You get to keep the shiny object.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from USA (Sensaria), United Kingdom (Prodigi), and Japan (Printify Choice)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: If the print does gather any dust, you may wipe it off gently with a clean, dry cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″ \/ Matte","offer_id":47542946463931,"sku":"32488632416687029579","price":41.19,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16″ x 20″ \/ Matte","offer_id":47542946496699,"sku":"15950955847298686853","price":44.04,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/5310\/9691\/files\/8920082653781762344_2048.jpg?v=1776139474","url":"https:\/\/stuartshawcreations.com\/products\/feral-survivor-funny-witch-matte-poster-trash-panda-energy-goth-wall-art","provider":"Stuart Shaw Creations","version":"1.0","type":"link"}