{"product_id":"expired-poison-mug-funny-goth-aesthetic-coffee-cup-whimsical-witchy-kitchen-decor","title":"\"Expired Poison\" Mug - Funny Goth Aesthetic Coffee Cup \u0026 Whimsical Witchy Kitchen Decor","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe ultimate paradox for your morning brew: is it deadlier, or just distinctively disappointing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe all have those 3 AM thoughts that spiral into absolute nonsense. Even Death himself has administrative questions. Is the poison spoiled? Did it age like fine wine or like unpasteurized milk? Honestly, who knows. This mug is the perfect vessel for your morning potion of \"wake up and deal with it,\" capturing the exact level of chaotic overthinking you bring to the breakfast table. It’s cozy, it’s slightly concerning, and it’s exactly the vibe you need.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You’ll Actually Want This:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMicrowave-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e — Reheat your coffee while you dissociate in front of the spinning plate.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDishwasher-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e — Toss it in and ignore it, just like your impending deadlines.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant, Crisp Print\u003c\/strong\u003e — The existential crisis is captured in high definition and won't fade.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGlossy White Ceramic\u003c\/strong\u003e — A pristine backdrop for dark humor (and dark roasts).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eComfortable C-Handle\u003c\/strong\u003e — A solid grip for when reality feels a little slippery.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe friend whose aesthetic is \"cozy doom\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWitches who prefer dry humor over actual hexes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who spends too much time pondering life's unanswerable questions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🛒 \u003cstrong\u003eSnag this mug before your motivation expires.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eDrink up, it’s probably fine.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":47423182667963,"sku":"17377566395390629510","price":22.72,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/5310\/9691\/files\/12035977714728693933_2048.jpg?v=1770890393","url":"https:\/\/stuartshawcreations.com\/products\/expired-poison-mug-funny-goth-aesthetic-coffee-cup-whimsical-witchy-kitchen-decor","provider":"Stuart Shaw Creations","version":"1.0","type":"link"}